THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE IS FROM www.raisedgood.com WRITTEN BY TRACY GILLETT https://raisedgood.com/toddlers-meltdowns-brain-development-ditch-traditional-discipline/
04.01.19
TODDLERS, MELTDOWNS AND BRAIN DEVELOPMENT: WHY PARENTS NEED TO DITCH TRADITIONAL DISCIPLINE
Toddlers are brilliant. Aren’t they?
They live in the present moment.
They’re capable and innocent.
And perhaps my favourite trait – they’re authentic. They’re unfiltered. They’re among the most honest humans on the planet. They’re unapologetically themselves.
But, perhaps they’re also the most misunderstood humans on the planet.
We, adults, have forgotten what it’s like to be a toddler. To be small and dependent. To be constantly learning. To feel only one (strong) emotion at a time, yet not have the tools to regulate that emotion. To experience the most rapid brain development of one’s life.
Instead, what our culture chooses to see are toddlers ‘throwing’ tantrums. Pushing our buttons. Testing our limits. Acting clingy, uncivilized and impolite.
This perspective can make us feel as though we’ve lost control. As if we’re ‘bad’ parents. As if we’re failing.
And so, we’re encouraged to control our children; to leverage our size and power.
Mainstream parenting focuses on modifying superficial behaviour and resorting to tactics like punishments, time-outs, threats, bribes and rewards under the justification that perpetuating a dominance hierarchy is somehow serving the greater good.
And when these scare tactics don’t work…we escalate the punishment.
But, what if, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with our children? Nothing to be fixed. What if the problem is a lack of knowledge, understanding, and empathy within our society? And what if these techniques threaten to erode the ONLY influence you truly have with your child – your relationship.
Western society expects a parenting approach based on an adult’s wants rather than a child’s needs. But, what if, through our relationship, an understanding of child psychology and brain development, and a shift in perspective, we could find a way to be in harmony with our young children and grow alongside them? Becoming better people ourselves.
So, let’s dig a little deeper into the science of growing up. Let’s seek to understand WHY young children behave the way they do so that we can feel confidence and gratitude as we stand beside them, guiding them with patience and compassion on this adventure called toddlerhood.
When does the brain grow up?
As humans evolved to walk on two legs rather than four, the size of the pelvis needed to shrink considerably. For women, childbirth became more challenging; we evolved to give birth to our babies at a much earlier stage of development so that a newborn’s head could safely pass through the narrower birth canal. Some say, compared to other mammals, humans are born only half way through gestation; similar to baby kangaroos.
The biological tradeoff? Undeveloped brain = immature, helpless, dependent baby.
Compared to other mammals, the human brain is tiny at birth; a mere 25% of its ultimate adult size. Animals born into hostile environments tend to have larger infant brains to help them survive. Zebras, for example, need to be able to run with the herd just hours after birth – their relatively mature brains help them run and respond appropriately when a lion appears.
But, mother nature always has a survival strategy in place. So, what is the survival strategy for human babies with such tiny brains? Easy. Mum and Dad. Babies (and toddlers) are designed to keep us close most, if not all the time in order to protect them.
We’re designed to form secure attachments for a reason – in order for our species to survive and thrive.
John Bowlby, British psychoanalyst and Founder of Attachment Theory, hypothesized that healthy attachment is crucial to promote emotional regulation and is vital for optimal brain development. Our interactions with our children, whether positive or negative, affect the way their brains grow.
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The National Institute of Mental Health suggests the brain doesn’t fully mature until our mid-late twenties. The frontal lobe, responsible for judgment, planning, assessing risks, and decision-making is the last region to complete development around age 30. So, what does this mean for us, as parents?
It means we need to be patient and compassionate with our kids. It means children are often incapable of the unrealistic expectations we place on them. It means that no matter how smart we think our three-year-old is, no matter how much we wish he could rationalise and reason, he simply doesn’t have the brain of an adult. We may hope kids will behave with self-discipline and self-control, but until their brains mature, it is our responsibility to guide them (and ‘lend’ them our prefrontal cortex until theirs matures).
How positive parenting encourages healthy brain development
Albert Einstein once said the most important question for us to answer is, “Is this a friendly universe?” Infancy and childhood are when we begin to answer that question. As a species, we are adaptable precisely because we are unfinished at birth. Children “build” a brain, that’s best suited to the environment they experience. A staggering seven hundred new neural connections (synapses) are formed in the brain every single second, equating to over one thousand trillion synapses by a child’s third birthday.
But the process of brain development doesn’t end at age three; by the time children reach their teenage years the number of neural synapses actually halves from one thousand trillion to five hundred trillion in a process called neural pruning.
So why would the brain create more synapses than it needs, only to discard the extras?
The answer lies in the interplay of genetic and environmental factors. While genetics provides a blueprint, it’s a child’s environment and their experiences that carry out the construction, forming the essential wiring of the brain. Repeated use of particular pathways strengthens individual connections.
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Synapse strength is vital in developing emotional regulation abilities. This is why it’s critical that we provide our children with experiences that contribute to healthy brain development. For example, a child who experiences excessive stress will develop a larger brainstem – the part of the brain responsible for the fight, flight, freeze response. These children are more likely to become adults who are overly reactive to stress. Why? Because their early experiences suggest that they need to be on high alert. That their environment is unsafe (and so are they).
On the flip side, a child who experiences nurturing and responsiveness is able to devote their energy to growing a larger prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation. These children are more likely to become adults who are calm and emotionally stable. Why? Because their early experiences of interdependence and responsiveness suggest that their world is safe and that they can rely on those around them.
This is the type of care humans are biologically wired to expect.
Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson proposed that healthy psychological outcomes are dependent on the quality of caregiving. When the balance of care is empathic babies and toddlers grow into children who naturally trust the world. And trusting children feel confident about venturing out and exploring independently. This is how true independence develops.
Why Toddlers Need Meltdowns
Toddlers build up stress hormones as they cope with the challenges of daily life. But the part of the brain, which allows them to express strong emotions verbally, the prefrontal cortex, still isn’t fully developed. This means that toddlers can experience an intense emotion, but they don’t have the ability to verbalise, nor deal with it.
So, mother nature designed toddlers with a foolproof method to release emotional overload: meltdowns (or tantrums).
Toddlers don’t enjoy tantrums. They don’t intentionally “throw” a tantrum to manipulate us. Tantrums are outside a toddler’s conscious control.
When emotions overwhelm a young child, their brain isn’t able to maintain rational control. Their physiology helps restore equilibrium by having a meltdown to release their feelings and frustrations.
Tantrums are an opportunity for us to connect and deepen the trust our children already have in us.
Tantrums are an opportunity to learn as parents.
Tantrums are an opportunity to dig deep, to lean in and to help your child in the way they need.
Tantrums are an opportunity to up your game as a parent.
As unbelievable as it may sound, once I realised this, I can’t say I looked forward to tantrums but I didn’t dread them. I didn’t try to stop them. I didn’t fear them. I started approaching them with curiosity and wonder. I started expecting them, just as I expected my son to be hungry or tired.
So, what’s the best way to deal with a tantrum?
Firstly, remember a tantrum is not a reflection on you. Let’s repeat that; your child’s tantrum is not a reflection on you or your parenting. What is a reflection on you is your response to the tantrum. Can you find the courage to disable generational imprinting and cultural expectations and be the calm in your child’s storm? You cannot control another person, but you can choose your response.
“Release your attachments to how things “ought” to be and instead surrender to how they actually are.” Dr. Shefali Tsabury
So, remember tantrums are normal and healthy.
Take a deep breath. Close your eyes for a moment if you need to. Do whatever you need to do to center yourself. You are your child’s compass. You are their guide; they need to feel the reassurance that you are in charge, that you have their back and that they can rely on you when they feel like they are drowning in a sea of wild and unpredictable emotions.
Sit patiently with your child. Hold her close. Empathize. Observe.
What unmet needs could be underlying her strong emotions?
Say what you see, without judgment.
Give her words so she can understand her emotions. “You are so upset. You seem sad to say good-bye to Daddy. You’re crying…”
Remember, this is not about you.
Do not even attempt to rationalise or use logic – your child’s brain is all emotion right now. Connect on an emotional level first and then once she is calm, you can problem solve together.
Acknowledge her anger and frustrations, accept her emotions and wait it out.
By doing this (time and again) you’re strengthening your child’s belief that the universe is a safe place. That her parents accept and love her unconditionally. That there is no such thing as “good” or “bad emotions. That you will help her regulate her emotions and explore her feelings no matter how messy they may be.Type your paragraph here.
This animated short from Disney's Fantasia 2000 contains the finale from composer Camille Saint-Saens "Carnival of the Animals" and is another favoirte of the students.
Pumpkin Bones is one of our favorite Halloween songs!
What's Happening in Music Class This Week!
Sometimes the theme of the week can be tricky to link to music but I always find a way. I hope your child is coming home and talking about their music class. Hopefully this blog will help open discussions so the children remember and share their fun times!
HAPPY NEW YEAR ~ Winter 2024!
This year is going to be a great one! I have so many educational and fun things coming up for my students. We will begin this year learning about all the instruments in an American orchestra and compare it to other countries and the different instruments and variations used. We will incorporate rhythm games and different instruments as we have a great time learning about music, where it comes from, how different instruments sound and keeping the beat as we sing, dance and play along to our favorite songs!
I hope to see you all very soon!
Classes begin the week of January 22nd!
Winter 2023
We have begun the winter session learning about tones & pitch by using different sized triangles to hear the different tones. The children loved playing along to the One Potato, Two Potato chant with medium, slow and then fast beats.
We also learned about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart who is celebrating a birthday on Friday January 27th. We saw what he looked like at a young age and older, we listened to a few of his most infamous pieces of music, and we learned that he was a child prodigy who began playing and composing music at the age of 4! Amazing!
We also played freeze dance and listened to some class favorites as we danced and played instruments.
I am looking forward to another fantastic year full of musical fun with all of my students!
Fall/Winter 2022
The final session of 2022 has begun! Last session we learned about the string instruments. Now we will move on to the Brass Instruments- Trumpet, French Horn, Trombone, Tuba and Sousaphone.
The vocabulary words we are learning are Tempo: the speed or pace of the music
& Pitch: The highness or lowness of sound.
With the holidays upon us soon, we will be listening to some very fun songs and keeping the tempo, identfying which instruments we hear and recognizing the pitch!
Sounds like a great beginning to this session!
Fall Session
The fall session has begun and the children are loving it! The leaves are changing and falling, weather will be getting cooler soon. The dynamics of the season are upon us.
In class, we are learning about the dynamics of music: forte=loud and piano=soft. We have discussed the conductor of the orchestra: the person who tells the musicians how to play using his baton and hand movements. The children really enjoyed holding the conductors baton.
We learned about the guitar, ukulele, triangles and of course the keyboard. One of the favorite things for the class is seeing new instruments, learning about them and playing with them.
The children also enjoy learning new songs and singing along to favorites.
During a typical class we will march around the room, play instruments, and of course dance along to many other songs and games.
We have so much fun together the time goes by quickly!
Back To School in 2022!!
Our Summer Session has come to a close. We enjoyed summertime songs from the Beach Boys and of course the ever popular Baby Shark! One of the students favorite music videos is the Flamingos from Disney's Fantasia 2000 which features The Carnival of the Animals, written by Camille Saint-Saëns. We also had hands on fun with the Ukulele, Guitar, and violin. Pretending to surf along to the Beach Boys and Hawaiian Rollercoaster from "Lilo & Stitch" was outrageously fun!
We reviewed all of the theory we learned: the treble and bass clef's, the music notes and how they sit on the staff line or in betweent them, and how many beats a note gets. We colored pictures of our favorite instruments.
We look forward to the Fall session coming soon to have even more musical adventures together!!
Happy Thanksgiving!
I am so thankful to be back to teaching music this year. The last year and a half has been hard on everyone. Learning to adjust to new rules and lifestyles while keeping safe has been trying on us all. I have always relied on music to help me through tough times. It soothes my soul and gives me hope.
I have the best students and I enjoy them immensely. Watching their faces light up when they learn about a new instrument, composer or song is heart warming for me. They are my reason and the purpose in life, along with my family of course.
I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope you take time to enjoy the goodness and music around you.
Classes have begun!
I am so very excited to be playing music with the children again after so long. I am thankful and grateful to be able pick up where I left off 18 months ago. The children are enjoying and so happy to have music class in their lives again!
So far we have learned about keyboards, trumpets and the Otamatone! What is an Otamatone? It is a funny little electric instrument that I brought to the class this week, It was so fun to watch the children play it! You can see it on the Video page here or on our Facebook Page!
Happy Halloween! Enjoy and be safe!
HIP HIP HOORAY! THE WAIT IS OVER!
Kindermaestros Music Enrichment is back!
Classes will begin the week of October 4th and continue through to the week of December 6th
We are very excited to begin our music classes again.
Look for our brochures in your preschool, or enroll online!
Spring 2020
As our world is being challenged by the outbreak of Covid-19 virus , I want to reach out to my students and families and let them know they are in my hearts. I have been very sad as I cannot be with the students , coworkers, and people I spend most of my time with. My love pours out to my students as I miss them dearly. I am grateful for my health and the health of my family. and I pray for the health and safety of all those I love daily. I truly hope this pandemic will end soon so we can get back to our lives as they were not too long ago.
I look forward to seeing all the happy, smiling faces of my Kindermaestros musicians very soon.
Hugs,
Ms. Carolyn
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Beginning another new school year!
We are off to another exciting year of school. As we begin our year we will look at how different music impacts our feelings, and which genre of music we enjoy best. Music plays an important role in expressing our feelings. A quote by Leo Tolstoy states "Music is the shorthand of emotion". As we grow and experience life we realize that just one song can remind us of a special memory and reconnect us to the joy or sadness of that time in our life. Music shapes our lives in ways we sometimes do not even know.
We begin our year with a review of the instruments we know and some we do not, as well as what it is to be a musician. We will discuss how our whole body is included in playing instruments, from our core out to our limbs. Sitting up straight and focusing on what the conductor is instructing musicians to do is how musicians know how fast, slow, loud or soft to play. Musicians need to learn to read music, just like we learn to read books. Reading music is just like learning a new language. The musical alphabet is only 7 letters though- A B C D E F G and that's it!
We are off to a great start and look forward to learning about, listening to, and experiencing more wonderful music!
Summertime!
Well, summer flew right by. We listened to so many different songs. We pretended we were surfing with The Beach Boys, went under the sea with Ariel and even listened to some whales "singing" . We learned about music from around the world and saw different cultures dancing and the instruments they play. We played the ukulele, we learned about the difference between the guitar and the banjo, and we saw some unique instruments that play songs with marbles and balls flying around! We were enchanted by the sounds of the Didgeridoo from Australia as well as the Ohio State University's Marching Band superhero formations on the football field.
And finally, each child decorated their own spin drums to take home! It was a wonderful summertime and we are ready for the new school year.
Father's Day
Happy Father's Day to all our fabulous dads! We love you so very much and are singing songs to celebrate you! We played our musical instruments along to the songs and danced around the room. It is so much fun!
Our instrument of the week is the Piano. We learned that inside the piano are strings that are hit by small hammers when the keys are struck. The strings vibration makes the sound. We listened to the low and high sounds on the piano and watched a video of a 4 year old boy that plays piano beautifully. The children were amazed at how fast his fingers played the keys. We also know that the electric keyboard I bring to class is not a piano. It does not have the strings like a piano and pianos are very heavy and Ms. Carolyn cannot carry them. (lol)
On a personal note, my father is the reason I am a music teacher. Dad attended The Julliard School in New York City on a scholarship, studying percussion and graduated in 1959. He enjoyed years of success as a professional musician, playing in the orchestra pits of many Broadway productions and the Metropolitan Opera House in Lincoln Center, Manhattan, among other venues. In the mid 1970's we relocated to Los Angeles where my father became a studio musician recording many theme songs to TV shows and movies. Dad was a music teacher as well, teaching children and adults how to play the drums and other percussion instruments. He volunteered at a local middle school and was president of the Jazz Musicians Organization in the 1990's when he moved down to San Diego. Dad's retired now but still plays drum drills daily and loves to listen to big band music of the 1940's, especially if Ella Fitzgerald is singing! Growing up in a musical house I learned that once music is in your heart, it stays with you forever, and you should share it with the world. I aspire to continue this legacy.
Colors!
Glorious Colors! This week we watched a video and learned to sign the colors. The children enjoyed it so much they asked to watch it twice. The second time they were signing along with the young girl to the colors red, blue, green, yellow, purple and brown. They really enjoyed this! We listened to other songs about colors as well. De Colores is one of my personal favorites!
We also talked about high and low sounds and how to find them on the keyboard and on the treble and bass clef staffs. Children this age are just learning to read and write from left to right, so figuring out how to walk fingers up and down the keyboard is exciting as well. All the notes/keys to the right of middle C get higher in their tones, and the notes/keys to the left of middle C get deeper and lower as the children walk their fingers down the keyboard.
Notes on the staff's are similar. We learned that notes are on the line or in between the lines of the two staffs, with the exception of middle C which is a special note that hangs out in between the two staffs and has a line through it. We tried to play along to a sheet of music that shows the children how to walk their fingers up and down the keyboard by following the notes on the page. We will revisit this in the near future so they become more familiar with it. They love to play on the keyboard, especially when they can go freestyle!
Geography
This land is your land, this land is my land! This song along with the song about the seven continents help children learn and understand what geography means. They enjoy the repetitive chorus that teaches them as they sing.
We reviewed all the instruments of the orchestra as well as the conductor. The conductor tells the musicians how fast or slow to play as well as how loud (forte), very loud (fortissimo) or very softly (piannismo). Playing music is a team effort and cooperation is imperative in creating a beautiful sound together. We had a lot of fun playing together as a band or orchestra would.
Happy Mother's Day!
As a mother of three grown daughters and grammy to one granddaughter, I have experienced just about everything under the sun raising them to be the wonderful women they are now. As a daughter, I admire my mother, step mother and grandmother for instilling morals, values and good common sense into my life. I am who I am because of them.
My daughters and I have always enjoyed music together. We sing at the top of our lungs to our favorite songs whenever we can! Music is one of our most powerful bonds.
Our job as mothers are to guide the young ones to become passionate, responsible adults who make a difference in the world.
This week's instrument of the week is the drums and percussion instruments. All the instruments we play in class are percussion instruments- meaning they are either struck with a mallet or stick or shaken. Some examples are the Djembe drum from Africa, the tambourine, triangle, and jingle bells. We always have fun playing the instruments along to the rhythm of the songs we hear. Percussion instruments are usually the instrument that keeps the beat for the rest of the musical ensemble. Just like mom's keep the beat going at home.
Happy Mother's Day to you all!
The Human Body and 5 senses
This week we learned how our body can make music. We can clap our hands, stomp our feet, and sing with our voices. We make music by patting our laps and our tummies too. We cannot see music but we can hear it. We can even feel it in our bodies at times.
Our instrument of the week is the Saxophone. This instrument looks like it belongs with the brass family but it does not because it has reed on the mouthpiece that helps make the beautiful sounds.
Our bodies love to move to music by dancing or exercising along to the rhythm of our favorite songs. Music makes our bodies happy!
Earth Day!
Celebrate our beautiful earth! There is a saying: "Music makes the world go around" Our earth and all the earthlings upon it sing and create beautiful music together. This week we sang songs about our planet and how we are all earthlings living together in harmony. How the wind howls, the birds sing, the animals and sea creatures make noises that sound like music. We also sang about recycling and reducing waste. The children agree that we only have one planet and we are all responsible for taking care of it so we can live happily for many years to come.
Our instrument of the week was the Tuba and the Sousaphone. Do you know the difference? Children love how low the sound of these instruments is.
We had a lot of fun learning, singing, and playing together.
Happy Spring Holidays!
Wishing all of my students and families a wonderful spring holiday. For me, holidays mean spending time with family and friends feasting, laughing, and making memories as we pass traditions along to the younger generations. May your holiday be full and musical.
It's A Bugs Life
This week we talk about bugs. Bugs like crickets and bees make music. We listen to songs about bugs such as "The Ants Go Marching" and "Flight of the Bumblebee". And we will focus on the French Horn.
In the music theory lesson, we will talk about the quarter note and how many counts it has as we play along to the metronome and keyboard. And we will see the difference between quarter notes and half notes.
And of course we will have fun playing and singing along to the songs about bugs!
Keep on buzzing to the beat and have a great week!
Stores
Where do we buy musical instruments? Besides places like Walmart and Target which carry a few, there are specialty stores that you can purchase instruments, music sheets and books, and other music accessories. We listened to songs including the toddler favorite, "To Market, To Market" and "Linstead Market" a Jamaican song.
Our instrument of the week was a look at the brass section of the orchestra which includes the Trumpet, Trombone, French Horn, and Tuba; focusing on the Trombone. We watched a class of children play "I Feel Good" on multi-colored Trombones. I like to show children playing instruments as often as possible. I think it my students are inspired by children playing all types of instruments.
We listened to the rhythm of the songs and played along on the instruments I bring each week. The music theory lesson covered half notes and the treble and bass clef.
It was a very fun class!
World Of Music
Well. this week was all about music! We saw instruments from around the world, such as bagpipes, the accordion, the Djembe drum from Africa, and the Alphorn to name just a few. We listened to music from different parts of the world as well. The children are always amazed at the different instruments and how many there are all over the world. The different music was fun to hear and dance to as well. And of course we had requests for freeze dance- one of their favorite activities! Music is fun no matter where you are!
SPRING is Here!
Springtime is a beautiful season. The flowers are blooming, new life is among us and birds are singing. This week our instruments of the week are the flute and the piccolo. They remind me of springtime. The joyous and happy sounds they make bring peace after the cold rainy winter season. We explored how high and low the two instruments sound. We listened to a young girl play "Flight of the Bumblebee"on a flute and "Baby Elephant Walk" on the piccolo accompanied by an orchestra. We also saw a duet of flute and piccolo play "Love is an Open Door" a song from "Frozen". We sang songs of Springtime as well. We reviewed the treble clef and the notes on it, and how they are placed either on or between the lines. We had fun dancing and playing instruments as well. Happy Spring!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
This week was full of lively Irish music. We saw instruments from Ireland such as the Concertina, the Bodhran drum and the Uilleann Pipes. We watched Irish dancing and tried it out. The children loved trying to move their feet as fast as the dancers. We sang songs about shamrocks and leprechauns. It was a very fun week!
BOTANY
The theme of the week at the preschools is Botany. You may ask what do botany and music have in common? Well, along with songs about flowers, trees and my favorite: Everything Grows, by Raffi, I teach the children that without trees and plants, many instruments would not exist. Drums, violins, guitars, and of course woodwind instruments are all made from wood that comes from trees! The children watch videos of log drums from West Africa (see video- "What is a log drum?") and a Xylophone that is made of different types of wood and has gourds under it that produce a vibration sound.
Hello and Welcome to My Blog Page!
On this page I will keep you all up to date on what we do in our class as well as post interesting articles about child development and music education.
As an educator, I know that music plays an extremely important role in the development of a child's brain. Music ks the only activity that engages and stimulates the entire brain.
People who learn music at an early age also learn, discipline, team work, and critical thinking skills. Music education enhances children's STEM education (Science, Technology, Engineering & Mathematics) which are the focus of many of today's schools.
Kindermaestros is dedicated to exposing children to all types of music genres, rhythms, and instruments. Our program builds upon the theme your child is learning about in their school.
For example- Early March is Dr. Seuss'' birthday and many schools will focus on his brilliant work. His techniques of rhyming and creative characters open children to explore their imagination. As he is an author and illustrator, we talk about composers. We create a song together and listen to some very amusing and silly songs. We learn about unique instruments with interesting names, like the Didgeridoo and the Glockenspiel.
Each Week I will blog about what the theme is and what we are learning. Talking to your children about what they learned in school and music class will help your child's language development, memory skills, and connectedness to their education and to their parents and family members.
I hope you will come back to see what is posted weekly.
Thank you for taking the time to read and stay connected to your child's education.
Ms. Carolyn